Family Mediation: a proven approach
Four Parts of Mediation
When there is a divorce, there are a lot of loose ends to be tied up. There are questions about how finances, assets and debts are to be handled, arrangements regarding child custody, how the various personal items acquired during the marriage are to be divided up fairly.
It is not possible for both parties under the circumstances to be content with the resolution of these problems, but it is always possible to reach a solution satisfactory to both parties. The method used to arrive at a consensus on these disputes is called mediation.
It is carried out through discussions with the help of a trained mediator who can counsel both parties to arrive at the best possible solution. But for a mediation to be successful, some parameters must be taken into account. Confidentiality
For mediation to be successful, it needs to ensure that the parties to the process are given full confidentiality. The discussions that take place during the mediation process will be lengthy and sometimes even acrimonious.
A lot of pent-up bitterness will come tumbling out. This is not a process that calls for airing family skeletons in front of the world. It takes places behind closed doors, and the discussions are confined to the two parties and the mediator. None of the discussions will be disclosed to third parties or made public.
When a couple takes their dispute to the court, a judge makes the decisions based on the facts presented to him or her. But mediation is a different process. The mediator is not the one making the decisions; the parties to the dispute are.
The mediator’s job is merely to guide the ex-spouses through a discussion and helps them see the issue from different perspectives.
The mediation process ensures that there are no underhand dealings. The mediator is obliged to be fair and inform both the parties of all proposals and counter-proposals.
The mediator must use simple language and must be easily understood. They must be able to explain the various issues clearly. Once this information is obtained, each makes a choice based on the information they have. This process is conducive to reaching an agreement.
The entire mediation process is fully voluntary. There can be no forcing the spouses to enter into mediation without full consent of both.
Mediation meetings are not compulsory though of course, the more the effort put into the process, the better the outcome. The parties can agree on a time suitable for both to hold the mediation meetings.
This means that they do not have to drop everything to rush to a meeting. This makes for a far more relaxed procedure, which again stands a far better chance of succeeding.
Mediation has a high rate of success and as such, is recommended to spouses who find themselves arguing over the smallest things.
The presence of a third party mediator who is trained in resolving disputes is just the thing that can help calm down the partners and arrive at a mutually beneficial agreement.