Grandparents and Grandchildren after Separation or Divorce
Grandparents play a great role on the quality of life that the grandchildren live. It is good that they remain in contact with the children in case there is a divorce or separation. During such times, children require to be given a lot of reassurance because of the great changes that occur in their lives.
They require to understand:
- It is not their mistake that the separation or divorce occurred.
- They need to be shown that they are loved and
- They need to be provided with a person to talk to about the feelings they have during this trying moment.
It is good to note that during this moment, children may experience conflicting loyalties. As a grandparent, it is good to listen to them without criticizing either parent. This will help them continue talking about their feelings.
It is normal for children to feel they are the one to blame for the disagreements that may have occurred between the parents. A grandparent may assist the kids that they are not to blame for the changes their families are experiencing.
It is crucial to ensure that children are updated at every stage of the separation process. Grandparents should encourage their children to tell the grandparents what is happening in the family. They may not need to know all what is happening and may not like to be engaged in decision making process. However, they should feel that they are being given an ear. Motivate them to ask questions and ensure they are given most reassuring and honest answers. In case there is something that is not yet decided, give them assurance that their parents will give the answers as soon as possible.
Your capacity to communicate in an effective way to your children and grandchildren during this challenging and tricky moment is key. Ensure that your children meet all the needs, offer security, love and give the right support to their children too during this moment. This will ensure children have a positive mind all along.
When parents separate they have to provide financial support and care to their children. Grandparents must have a hand in offering this support. The life of the kids should only be affected as little as possible by their parent separation. This will ensure they continue living normally when they spend time with each parent.
As a grandparent, you are also affected by this situation either individually or in your family. Thus, you are likely to go through the loss cycle. It is hard to tell what you feel at this moment, but you need to care about yourself. You need to be cautious about your well being during this moment to prevent more problems from arising. The most important thing is to ensure that you be as supportive as you can and offer assistance to your children and the grandchildren who may be very confused during this moment.
If you like more information or advice on how to support your grandchildren during this moment, you can contact MIAMS FM1 FAMILY MEDIATION SERVICE.
If you have restricted or no access to your grandchildren call us today –
Contact us for Family Mediation – 03300 101 354